MY DOOR IS EQUAL OPPORTUNITY, BUT I LOVE LADIES!!!

My name is Merl, AKA THE LEGENDARY L.I.Q.W.I.D. (Life Is Qualified With Intellectual Diversity). Honestly, rather than rock you to sleep with some car salesman's lame intro. It’s not about me; it’s about you all because I’m the one being pursued, plus I’m only a voicemail, email, or letter away. However, I did create a bullet point diagram of my preference for friendship leading to a possible romance.

MY ATTRACTIONS: MY SHAKEYS: MY DEAL BREAKERS:
Beautiful Toes Cigarette Smoker Too many kids
Straight Shooter Drama Queen Awkwardly Silent
Photogenic (into sending pics) Multiple Pen Pals (no conversation)
Curvaceous High Strung Always seems dis-
Generous Under 25 connected and preoccupied
Caucasian Non-Driven Cat fisher
Goofy Anti-Herbal Unstable
Uninhibited conversation X-Junkie (of hard drugs) Homeless
Over 28 Ghetto Bull Duke
0 Kids Extensions in hair Scorned from Past Pen Pals
Stable Any type of Cosmetic Surgery No time to e-mail or JPay
Adventurous Cheap Botox Never wants to chat on the phone
Hyper Sexual Inquiring me out of pure sympathy
Beautiful Over skeptical
Natural features Super Judgmental
Non-Judgmental Complainer
420 Friendly
LOYAL
Full Transparency: I’ve been down since 2009, I’m here for standing guard on some robbers, so be honest with me as well!! I’d rather you slap me with the truth than kiss me with a lie. We can text “25-8-366”!! VM (voicemail ONLY) at 509-204-5896. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP; DRAGGING IT DOWN TILTS YOUR CROWN!

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