Hi.

What’s your name?
My name is Chad, by the way. Nice to meet you. Before I say what I have to say, I want to ensure we’re on the same page…You know I’m a criminal, right? Like a convicted felon. Who doesn’t like breaking the law once in a while? …. ;) I’m joking.

Okay, now that we’ve got that one out of the way, I’m looking for a friendship. I believe friendship should be built on trust, appreciation, sincerity, and a good laugh. And I’m glad you’ve decided to look over this profile of a tall, artistic, well-read asshole – and let’s not forget considerate. A dependable, considerate, and attractive asshole. Lol

What do I like? I study financial instruments. Spanish. Good music is my high. Rap. Jazz. Reggae. Grunge. And I practice looking tough all day. I pick up a paintbrush once in a while. Workout regularly. Make weapons out of sharp objects—the usual. I’m not really into shanks – relax.
Enough about me. What do you like? Where’ve you been? Where are you headed? How’s life?

Nothing is guaranteed, but should you consider becoming my pen friend, here are some things I can promise to be for you: someone you can come to for comfort, eyes that you can look into and trust, a heart that understands and doesn’t judge; a prompt reply to all your letters; and time devoted to you and you alone.

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, contact me on the Securustech website or app or reach me through the USPS mailbox. You’ll need my info, too. Are you ready?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Take care.

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