Hey there! I'm Esko, 39, and I am serving a very extended vacation at the local resort (aka prison). I am looking for a friend to help me escape the monotony of three square meals and a side of repetitive "day room" banter.

I enjoy long walks down the corridor, deep conversations about the meaning of life (or why they haven’t invented a better brand of prison coffee), and perfecting my card shark skills—watch out, I might win your heart and a game of Go Fish! My hobbies include dramatic reenactments of my favorite movies, which I swear get better with each performance.

I’ve got a great sense of humor, even if my cellmate thinks I’m just “doing time.” I promise I’m not as scary as I look—I have a permanent frown from missing pizza.

If you’re looking for a pen pal who can make you laugh and appreciates the fine art of sending the best care packages, I’m your guy! Bonus points if you can send me a stash of snacks. Let’s swap stories and make this pen-pal thing prison-ally rewarding!

Please write directly to me or use e-mail, cannot get 3rd party mail. Thanks.

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